I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
They have beer where we have blood.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
