i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
