Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
two words...techno handjob
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
