I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
