i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize