i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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