we have pet lesbian snakes
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
