Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
