Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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