I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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