The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
