Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm at about main and main street
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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