i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
vagina is talking i cant
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
