We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize