Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
