When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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