you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize