I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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