help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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