I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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