Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
