Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Omg I joined a choir last night...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
