haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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