So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
