That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
