I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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