I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
