I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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