I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize