There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There was a lot of him and a little penis
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
