It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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