i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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