Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
