escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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