I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
soo... how was my night?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
