nut hugger
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Who died my cat blue again?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
