are you still at the devil's house?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize