would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
