Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize