My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
