I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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