We need to rekindle our bromance
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize