Kiss
Puke
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
