So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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