And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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