We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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