I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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