is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
