Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He's on the porch naked. Help.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
