Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Shame - the story of my life.
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