she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
