I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize