just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
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