She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
