I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
