If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
