oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
