R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
