I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize