hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
