No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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