at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
