is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
