I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You left your phone here
Wait...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
