I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
