STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
